for the first time in what i wanna say…a year, i went back to bikram yoga. whattt? yup. since my bucket list has, “Get certified as a yoga instructor” near the top of the list, i thought to myself…maybe i should get off my butt first and onto the mat! so, that’s exactly what i did.
but, not to a power yoga studio as i plan to pursue, but thought i would go hardcore, and go to the studio, bikram style. got up at 9am and tried to fight my body for 10 minutes with reasons as to why i should not go to bikram (as originally mentally planned the night prior), but i figured…GO.
got to the studio in bikram attire (it gets REALLY hot and sweaty REALLY quickly), and started my practice. “wow, this is gonna be new,” i thought to myself. the new kid on the block again, but it was ok. i thought to myself, accept what you do not know, and learn along the way…and so i did.
it wasn’t my best practice on my mat by any means, but it was my attempt to get my body in the rhythm of rejuvenation and renewal – back into a healthy flow if you will. probably two poses before the floor exercises, i couldn’t handle it anymore! i remember thinking to myself in between one of the poses, “i’m gonna pass out, i’m gonna fall over – no, you can’t! cause then people will start falling over too cause they will also feel discouraged. you gotta stay in it! fine! drink water, but don’t be distracting. close your eyes, don’t make eye contact with the teacher. i hope he doesn’t call me out. crystal, get up! get up!” but then…i started feeling sick, and started seeing dots…so then i thought to myself, “NO. this practice is for my body, and i gotta stay focused on my breath and how my body is feeling and gotta relax my face…i can’t do this practice for other people – this is not that time. you’re thinking too much. just listen to your body and sit quietly.”
and so, i got down, closed my eyes, and got up when i was ready to continue. and by that time, i caught the second set of the pose right before the floor exercises. phew! i busted my butt through the floor exercises, bikram instructor man called me out on a few of the poses (cause i was not doing them correctly!) and eventually got through it to the end of the hour and a half.
while in savasana, i thought to myself, what a metaphor for life. i love yoga, and i think that that’s what i love about the practice. it’s a reminder to breathe, and how important it is to not fight your body, and to not go go go just for the heck of it…
sometimes it’s so easy to go go go, and by the time you reach your destination or point completion, or what you think is the highest “place” you can attain, you realize, hmmm perhaps i missed the point of the whole thing because i was too focused on that one destination point.
spirituality. while going to church and praying novenas, and buying religious articles as devotion pieces are all awesome things…it’s so important to not forget the Jesus and relationship part of the deal.
while i wanted to have an awesome practice in yoga on the mat today, busting my butt until i passed out would not have been good for anyone. especially me!
moderation with challenge. it’s good to know limits, and boundaries, and listening to my body.
appearances. in bikram yoga, you aren’t the most attractive kid on the block. sweat all over – in your eyes, mouth, dripping all over the place! your hair is in a mess, and your face sometimes looks angry. what a freeing place to be!
and so, i can gladly say, “i love my time on the mat!”
excuse me while i detox. 🙂